“Spending time on the pediatric cancer ward
among dead and dying children
will make you question just about everything you’ve ever held to be true,” she said.
“Especially long-cherished beliefs about control;
the ability to choose correctly and thus guarantee a good outcome for your life.
This sense of powerlessness —
not the delicious, tingly vampire-novel chills, or the kind of sexy-scared way we feel when we’re falling in love —
but naked, raw What-is-the-Meaning-of-Life anguish,
is at the heart of terror for me.”